Forever
by Xx Artemis Rox mi Sox xX
Summary: How can you fight a battle you're losing?  She is surrounded by life, and yet she feels so alone.  Lifeless.  All she has are memories. [Character Suicide]


Forever

"_Give beer to those who are perishing;  
__Wine to those who are in anguish;  
__Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more."_

**-Proverbs 31: 6/7**

Holly sat on the bar stool and grumbled, "The strongest thing you've got." When she thought about it, she didn't really know why she was here. Especially in a run-down bar like this. She deserved better, by far. The little whiskey bottle in her nightstand, maybe? She groaned a laid her head against the bar counter. It was nice and cool on her forehead. Memories. All because of Artemis. She hated him for giving her such pain, but cared for him too much to be angry at him. She was just angry at herself for not thinking of this before.

It had been such a long time. So much time; wasted. What did she care? Holly practically jumped as the bartender placed the cold liquid in front of her. She didn't care what it was; her first choice was to send it. And that is exactly what she did. Holly felt the cold liquid flowing down her throat and she liked it. Soon her whole mouth felt numb; she liked that too.

She was remembering Artemis's funeral. She had never cried so hard since her father died. That was probably the biggest impact of her life. They had been so close. So close, not even the phase 'two peas in a pod' could justify. Silent tears fell from her eyes as she thought about that last conversation they had together.

-------------------

"_Can you please let me talk to Holly? Alone…" Artemis croaked. The nurse shook her head disapprovingly and then left. So did his two brothers Becket and Myles, and some of the fairies who were there too. Holly reluctantly walked to his bedside and sat in a chair beside him. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly. She wanted to let him know that she was there going through this with him._

"_Holly?" he asked. Holly looked down at the old man's face and imagined the young boy she once knew. All the times they had took long walks on the grounds. They would talk about anything, anytime. They weren't scared to talk about anything. Best friends forever, literally. When they said it, they meant it. But even then Holly knew he wouldn't last forever. She stumbled upon the fact that neither would she, but six-hundred years sounded close enough for her._

"_Yes Artemis?" she asked tenderly, stoking his thick grey hair. They both smiled at each other, as if holding a deep and idyllic secret._

"_Do you think my life would have been happier if I had done it?" he questioned, his smile fading. Holly didn't need to ask him what he meant. When Artemis was thirty, his parents were scared that he didn't have a personal life, so Artemis started going to out with women. Minerva, of course, was one of those women. She was the last one really. Their relationship was awkward for Artemis._

_Soon enough, he asked her to marry him. When Artemis looked back, he didn't know why. Maybe because of his parents. Or maybe even loneliness, but he was never lonely. Not when he had Holly. So he turned her down at the alter and had never seen her since._

"_Maybe," Holly answered, "but I think you're better off. You would have been stuck in a loveless marriage."_

"_That's not what I meant." Artemis sighed. "Becket and Myles, they're grandfathers. I wondered… no. Never mind."_

_Holly squeezed his hand. "Please. Tell me."_

_Artemis swallowed back his tears. "I wondered what it'd be like to have a wife, children… a family. I've never felt about someone in that way… except you." He squeezed her hand back. "Holly, you are my best friend. You are the closest thing I've ever had to real love. I do love you; more than anyone. Although I've never had an older sister, I felt like I always have."_

_Holly tried not to cry, but the tears were coming fiercely now and she was unable to stop them. She laughed the tiniest bit. "Sometimes I always feel like a younger sister." She whispered._

_Holly was crying now and she couldn't help it. She tried to stop, because she knew Artemis hated it when she cried. "Artemis… I do feel the same way." Holly slipped onto the soft bed, and placed her head on Artemis's chest. He was so big and she was so small. She felt like a flower nestled by a tree. No, more like a blade of grass. His warm arms wrapped around her and she felt completely safe._

"_Best friends?" Artemis managed to whisper. Holly sobbed and clung onto Artemis._

"_Best friends… forever." _

-------------------

Holly snapped back to the future. She had never really gotten over his death. Everyone always used to ask if they were 'involved', but the truth was, they were just friends. Best friends. Holly sobbed against the chilled bar counter. "Hey, you're that cop, right?" the bartender asked.

Holly raised her eyes just enough to glare at him. He got the message and was going to take another order when she stopped him. "Wait," she said. "Can I buy a case of beer here?" He nodded mutely. She paid for the alcohol and stumbled out of the cheap bar. She only had one drink, but still felt dizzy. Her world had turned upside down and all she had ever done through this whole thing was get through it. She didn't want to just 'get through it' anymore.

First, she went back to her apartment and drank two beers. Then she threw the rest of them at the wall. Holly stood in front of her big mirror. The light mascara she had put on just for work had fallen with her tears. She glanced at a picture of her, Artemis, Foaly, Mulch and Doodah all sitting at a table drinking and laughing. Holly was the only one who could convince Artemis to come.

Then she stared at the human gun in her hand. Would she do it? Could she? Why? Holly put the gun to her head. _Don't do it Holly_. Artemis's ghostly voice said. It came from the picture.

"Why not?" she argued. Artemis always lectured her about what she and couldn't do. Holly wasn't a person with good self-concept. There was a sigh. _His_ sigh. The disappointed sigh. _You don't need to do this. You can make it._

Holly crumbled to her knees. "But I miss you. I want to be with you. I don't want to live anymore. All I have is a job…" _Fight it! The Holly I know wouldn't give up this easily!_

"But it's so hard!" she bawled. "I don't want to live. There is no reason." _There is every reason. You can't tell me you're not happy with _anything_ in your life._

Holly thought about the ghost-Artemis's words. Happiness. Did she even know the meaning of the word? "No." she muttered. "I'm not happy with anything in my life." She struggled to her feet and grabbed a better picture of just Artemis and herself. His twentieth birthday. She was kissing him on the cheek and he was redder then a tomato.

She lay down in her bed with the gun by her side and the picture over her heart. "Tell me what to do Artemis." There was silence and then- _Do what will make you happy. I will always be behind you._

One last tear fell from Holly's eye. "I know you will." And then the gun was fired. Only one note was left on the back of the picture over her heart-

_Bury this with me. Artemis and Holly- best friends forever._

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Artemis Fowl, unfortunately. If I did, Artemis and Holly would be together in a flash and Minerva would have a big attitude change (sorry Eoin).

That was very Angsty. I'm sorry. I'm almost crying. So sad. Please R&R. I wrote this during Nevermore when I was bored. I'm finally getting this posted and I am very proud.

Your Evil Authoress,  
_Shannon_


End file.
